【序】
01.Dr. Chen的話
陳總顧問
回憶是一道又一道的門。總是有人說著小時候好多的記憶都忘了，彷彿那一段最為寶貴兒時成長的過程被關閉起來，它慢慢的如同關了一扇又一扇的窗，心門卻不知不覺隨著那道門、那扇窗也關閉了。
且讓時空回到2017年，那是在一個舉世聞名，小而精、而美的綠色城市新加坡，就像偶遇相見的機緣認識，蔡沅達是個15歲男孩，那是充滿著靦腆、純真、善良面容，眼睛大大的，卻布滿了血絲，講話時，有一種好理直氣壯樣貌。當一開口就說：「我好累哦！」突然間，讓我覺得更有一股累積好久且強大被壓抑的憤怒能量無法釋放出來。這個孩子怎麼了？怎麼會！有這樣極大反差呢？
在過去20幾年從事許多青少年輔導工作的經驗，在他的背後一定經歷很多不容易的事件發生，或者是一種故事的延伸。蔡沅達3歲時爸媽就因著性格不合而離異，媽媽個性是剛硬强勢女人，爸爸相當有感性平和男人。孩子啊！那心中的第一道門也就關起來了，就像把自己關進去一層又一層暗黑無比的象牙塔內，禁錮著這麼靦腆、純真、純善、純美的孩子靈魂啊！
時間快速拉回2021年的現在時刻，我正注視看著沅達這本畫作冊初稿。沅達是獨子，沒有其他兄弟姐妹，爸媽離異後，與爸爸同住一起，所幸媽媽仍有一直陪伴著。無論如何？大人感情世界到底是怎樣呢？怎麼可以這樣呢？那我呢？
光陰似箭，歲月如梭，日子卻以十分漫長且很慢地圍繞著這孩子。想到學校讀書，卻遇到了人際關係的阻礙及衝突，「我再次壓抑制憤怒不已的自己」「沒有人可以再霸凌我」，網路世界是可以幫助我重建這個世界的。彷彿新的概念、認知、觀點一個個被點燃了。2017年終於為自己打開第一扇門了。
「陳主任」「陳老師」「Dr. Chen」哈哈哈！其實與大家分享，至今沅達從未這樣在我面前稱呼過，但孩子卻十分清楚知道我是誰哦！「內心藏著5個不一樣的他」是孩子不經意具體透露出來的，他想著應該要好好面對及整合自己的時刻到了，尤其孩子總是怒目口頭禪說著：「媽媽很笨！」原來這一切都是愛的保護！從小恐懼自己被霸凌，更害怕媽媽被欺負啊！外面環境的陌生人也不安全呀！
不知覺與這畫作冊名稱《媽媽！請妳看見我！》有了更深度的意識連接，它帶入到「當我20歲，爸媽就沒事了」。孩子正一直在蛻變整合著自己呢，就像毛毛蟲準備破繭而出，轉化為彩蝶啊！那是孩子給自己最強大的期許及未來希望啊！「20歲的我！我長大成熟了！我可以開始展翅飛翔！爸媽你們不須要再為我擔心著了！」
再專注看著沅達所創作19幅畫作，這是在2019年因著「家油站」開幕誌慶，孩子很貼心的念頭觸機畫了幾幅做為贊助義賣所延續擴展而來的。以下概分為五大系列，有「系列一：感受」「系列二：大洞」「系列三：通道」「系列四：悲傷之路」「系列五：幸福之路」，尤其是每一系列裡更蘊藏著此畫作者對自屬生命無盡的感受及深刻體認。
例如：1感受：是傾聽自己的聲音；2大洞：是向內遇見黑暗與恐懼；3通道：是心靈通道，生命的拐點；4悲傷之路：是穿越幽暗重新聚足力量；5幸福之路：是連接無限可能。到底沅達畫作者究竟欲想藉由此19幅作品，帶領我們大人進入怎樣的世界，那麼，就讓大家好好的以輕鬆愉悅的態度進入孩子內心世界探索而知。
最後！我以大人的身分及角色，再次分享：孩子一直都是我們最棒的生命禮物，他們就像一面清澈明亮的鏡子照耀著，期盼讓大人們也能從中窺見些什麼？
就在此時此刻傳來內在訊息，我想告訴孩子啊！「親愛的沅達，你是最棒的！」
2021.08.09 筆於臺灣立秋時分
01.Dr. Chen Prologue
Memories are like a series of doors, one after another. There are bound to have some who proclaimed that they have forgotten most of their childhood memories, as if that precious piece of growing up process were being shut off. It is like slowly shutting off the windows, one by one. The door to the heart also unknowingly followed the doors and windows in shutting off.
Allow time to return to 2017, a world famous, small and refine, beautiful and green city [Singapore], where a chance encounter met a chance acquaintance. [Taro Chua] was a 15 year old boy, shy, innocent and kind. His eyes were big but were bloodshot, and he was straightforward in his speech. At the moment when he first blurted out: “I am so tired!”, I felt that there was a huge and long accumulated ounce of energy in him, suppressed by rage and no way to release.What happened to this boy? How can the contrast be so drastic?
From my past 20 over years of experience in youth counselling, I reckon that he must have experienced some matters of grave difficulties or an extension of a story of the same.[Taro Chua], his parents divorced due to incompatibility when he was 3 years old. The mother was a strong headed woman whereas the father was more sensible and gentle.Oh, child! There goes to the shutting of the first door to the heart as if you have caged yourself in the darkest levels of the ivory tower, imprisoning the shy, genuine, kind-hearted and beautiful pure soul of a child.
Fast forward the time to the present year 2021, I am looking at the first draft of [Taro]’s album. Taro is the only child without any siblings. He lived with his dad after the parents’ divorce, and fortunately, his mom was always there for him.Whatever it is? What is in the adult’s emotional world? How can it be in this way? What about me?
Time flies like an arrow, age is like a shuttle, but the days surrounding this child were long and slow. The drive to go and learn in school was obstructed by the conflict and unfriendly environment.
[Once more, I suppressed the rage in me.][Nobody can ever bully me again]
The internet world is able to help me to reconstruct this world, as if this new concept, knowledge and point of view were being ignited one by one. In 2017, he opened the first door, for himself.
[HOD Chen, Teacher Chen, Dr Chen]Hahaha! Just to share with you, although Taro has never address me with any of the aforesaid titles, he is very sure [who I am!][The hidden 5 different identities in his inner world] was not easily revealed by him. He reckon that it was time for him to address and integrate himself. Particularly, the child’s angry look together with his mantra of “Mother is so stupid!” was in fact a form of protection out of love. He was afraid of being bullied since young, hence was even more fearful for his mom being bullied!
Strangers from the external environment were not safe also. Hence unknowingly the name of the album [Mom! Please see me!] has gained deeper connection to the consciousness.It then brought about [my parents will be okay when I turned 20].The child is in the midst of continuous transformation and integration! Just like the caterpillar ready to break free from its cocoon to become a colourful butterfly!That is the strongest anticipation and hope of the future the child has granted himself. The 20 year old me! I have grown and am mature. I can start to spread my wings and soar! Dad and mom, you need not worry about me anymore!
Refocusing on Taro’s album of 19 art pieces, this is the resulting fusion of a caring child’s sponsorship of a few art pieces for charity sales during the opening ceremony of [Sumari Sage Tree – Jia You Zhan].The series are as follows: [series 1: Feeling], [series 2: Big Hole], [Series 3: Path], [Series 4: Sadness Path] and [Series 5: Happiness Path]More in particular, each series contains the author’s feelings towards the infinity of life and deep realization.
For example,
1. Feeling: Listening to your inner voice
2. Big Hole: Encountering the darkness and fear
3. Path: Passage of the soul, turning point of life
4. Sadness Path: Traversing the darkness, regathering of power
5. Happiness Path: Connecting to infinite possibilities
In this album of 19 art pieces, what kind of world does the author Taro wants to lead us adults into? Let us discover by relaxing ourselves and enter into the inner world of a child with joy.
Lastly, I want to share again, as a role of an adult, children has always been the best gift in life. They are as clear as a sparkling mirror, anticipating what we adult can glimpse from it.
At this juncture came a message from within, I wish to tell the child: Dear Taro, you are the best!”
Penned on 9th August 2021, Beginning of Autumn, Taiwan
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